A Day in the Life…
6:00am: Stare at humans from bedroom door.
6:01am: No response from humans. Pass gas in room and leave. Return to sleep.
6:45am: Put cold nose in human’s face. Look innocent.
7:04am: Run through apartment, grab toy, throw onto human bed.
7:05am: Whine for toy.
7:06am: Grab another toy. Repeat.
7:10am: Human awake!
7:11am: Stalk bathroom door. Attempt to push door open.
7:13am: Manically throw and attack toys. Run entire length of apartment and spin in circles.
7:15am: Turn into pogo stick at sound of human grabbing leashes.
7:16am: Attempt to run down stairs. Stare at slow human.
7:17am: BUSH!
7:19am: TREE!
7:22am: BUSH!
7:35am: Run around kitchen island for breakfast. Inhale food.
7:37am: Give thanks; burp in human’s face.
7:38am: Grab toy, circle bed and sleep.
9:00am: Switch beds. Continue sleeping.
10:00am: Human busy, quietly get on couch and continue sleeping.
12:00pm: Hear leash. Perform pogo stick impression.
12:05pm: Stare at feathery neighbor. It talks and laughs like a human.
12:10pm: Back upstairs. Sleep; dream of chasing feathery neighbor.
1:00pm: Snore.
2:00pm: Roach.
3:00pm: Stretch. Swap beds.
4:00pm: Pass gas while sleeping.
5:30pm: Afternoon burst: perform choreographed dance with toy.
5:45pm: Leash! Pogo stick! Walk!
5:58pm: Drag behind human. Such a long walk!
6:00pm: Dinner performance with toy. Run around kitchen island.
6:03pm: Burp in human’s face.
6:04pm: Sleep.
7:00pm: Sleep.
8:00pm: Sleep.
9:00pm: Sleep.
10:00pm: Hear leash. Stare at human.
10:01pm: Finally get up.
10:02pm: Whine at toad on sidewalk.
10:03pm: Back upstairs.
10:04pm: Exhausting day. Sigh. Sleep.
